Waiting

I wrote this piece back in June 1994 – before I met the astrology teacher who remarked that with 4 planets in Virgo in the 7^th house I’d likely come into this world to ‘get clear about other people’!

Chiron was just finishing a transit to my natal Pluto (Virgo 7^th) at the time:

There’s me, standing, watching you

And I wait

Waiting… for you to act so that I can react?

Waiting… to know what it is that you want?

Complicated this relating.

Why am I waiting?

Because I’m afraid…

Afraid of relating?

Don’t know where to start

Don’t know what picture we’re a part of…

Why does there have to be a picture? As if there were some pre-written ‘rules of the game’?

I’m not playing a game! This is for real - or is it?

Am I seeing you?

Are you seeing me?

Or are we re-living some past situation when we thought we knew where we stood?

Complicated this relating.

Do we ever stand and look and really see one another - or is there always a mirror?

Are you merely a projection of the workings of my mind?

Do I create you in my own image?

Do you create me in yours?

Can I please stand here and look, and try to catch a glimpse of the essential you rather than being tied up with my own stuff?

Oh to be free enough…

Oh to live freely and in the moment - what a gift!

Then I’m back in that never-ending circle…

How would you react to my new-found spontaneity, my new-found ‘freedom in the moment’?

Would you try to capture the butterfly and pin it in your album?

Here’s the fear again

And I’m back, standing, watching you

And I wait…

Photo by Bogdan Farca on Unsplash