Waiting
I wrote this piece back in June 1994 – before I met the astrology teacher who remarked that with 4 planets in Virgo in the 7th house I’d likely come into this world to ‘get clear about other people’!
Chiron was just finishing a transit to my natal Pluto (Virgo 7th) at the time:
There’s me, standing, watching you
And I wait
Waiting… for you to act so that I can react?
Waiting… to know what it is that you want?
Complicated this relating.
Why am I waiting?
Because I’m afraid…
Afraid of relating?
Don’t know where to start
Don’t know what picture we’re a part of…
Why does there have to be a picture? As if there were some pre-written ‘rules of the game’?
I’m not playing a game! This is for real - or is it?
Am I seeing you?
Are you seeing me?
Or are we re-living some past situation when we thought we knew where we stood?
Complicated this relating.
Do we ever stand and look and really see one another - or is there always a mirror?
Are you merely a projection of the workings of my mind?
Do I create you in my own image?
Do you create me in yours?
Can I please stand here and look, and try to catch a glimpse of the essential you rather than being tied up with my own stuff?
Oh to be free enough…
Oh to live freely and in the moment - what a gift!
Then I’m back in that never-ending circle…
How would you react to my new-found spontaneity, my new-found ‘freedom in the moment’?
Would you try to capture the butterfly and pin it in your album?
Here’s the fear again
And I’m back, standing, watching you
And I wait…

Enough to make anyone believe in Astrology… and a lovely poem!